Before Monkey Ball, there was Marble Madness, one of many games that drove my 9 year-old self freaking insane. I got the premise, I got what was supposed to happen, but once I got to the level where the floor shoots the marble into the air, I was done. I could not land that thing to save my life. Thankfully, in this day and age, the internet provides me with video evidence that everyone in the world is better at certain games than I am. Here’s a pretty nifty speed-run by nesguide that shows just how good someone can be at rolling a ball around.
We at Homestyle live by our motto of “serving tasty slices” of classic and indie games, but the difficulty in that living lies in the blur between a classic and a modern game. It seems to be the trend to reboot old franchises, luring in the younger crowd while keeping a stranglehold on people who look at everything with the Mortal Kombat logo emblazened on it through rose-tinted glasses. Bionic Commando, Street Fighter, Spy Hunter…all classic games, all with updated graphics, gameplay, and mentality. Are they fun? Two of those haven’t been released yet, but the other wasn’t as good as the original, but then again, it might be these rose-tinted glasses I’m wearing.
Football season is upon us, with the playoffs under way, so I thought that I’d do something I didn’t really anticipate doing - review a sports game. I know, I know, sports franchises are big sellers on a yearly basis, but something about stat checking and formation calling never really appealed to me. Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy football as a sport, but not as a hobby, and always felt it was missing something. Something like mines, or jetpacks, or ref murdering. Fortunately, back in 1993, Electronic Arts had a similar revelation and released Mutant League Football on the Sega Genesis.
I’m ok with this Super Mario reenactment, solely because A)it looks like it was really complicated to put together and B) because the Japanese put it together, making it feel a little more authentic than you average high school Mario scene. Also, if you’re a Republican, you’ve been warned - Obama makes a random appearance about halfway through. Seriously - it’s incredibly random.
2008 was a great year for the super hero genre - The Dark Knight blew movie audiences out of their socks, Robert Downey Jr. rocked the Iron Man armor, and in comics themselves, Batman’s dead and Marvel has been taken over by villains. Comics in general have seen a huge push in mainstream media, but there’s one major area where they’ve always slacked - games. It’s true. Look at games based on comics in the last 20 years and you’ll be hard pressed to find one that’s worth the time to play. And the games are based on the same heroes ad nauseum - you’re always either Spider-Man and Wolverine being the prime suspects. But there’s one game that celebrates comics, not franchises; celebrates the medium and not the characters. Ladies and gentlemen, for your reading pleasure, allow me to present Comix Zone.
Released in 1995 during the later years of the Sega Genesis (or Mega Drive), Comix Zone was received with mixed reactions. It’s a pretty difficult and unforgiving game, but it was also creative and original, something more than the blue hedgehog or the plumber who were dominating the industry at the time. When you first start up Comix Zone, you’re greeted by something different almost immediately. The usual soft “Sega” voice is instead replaced with what sounds like Elvis. So right away, you know something’s not quite normal here.
Every once in a while, a gaming company did something out of the ordinary. They took the standard “white words on a black background” Game Over screen and used it to add to the game experience. We here at Homestyle want to celebrate that creativity by having a quick glimpse at these different Game Overs in what we like to call Friday Finishers.
This first one is my personal favorite. Sad, sad Little Mac:
You’ve gotta give it to Nintendo on this one. Not only is Mike Tyson’s Punch-Out still a super fun game these days, not only did they have crazy characters (aka, racial stereotypes) and simple but addictive gameplay, but they also had one of the most memorable Game Over screens of all time.
I always wanted this screen to give me a choice and let me choose to retire. There’s nothing I’d love to see more than Little Mac selling fat-draining grills.
Taking you back, back, way back to my youth with this post.
I had just turned 7 years old when my dad got me my first Nintendo. I remember coming home and seeing him connecting it to the TV, with the bright orange zapper that made this really cool “twang” sound when you pulled the trigger and this cool looking controller. The only other controller I’d ever played with before that was my cousin’s Atari joystick to play some of the weakest games at the time (there was no accounting for taste with that guy). So here I was, with my own system, with this neat looking cartridge on it that had TWO GAMES!! Awesome!
Awesome, that is, until I met my childhood nemesis - this guy:
That’s right, the first goomba in Super Mario Bros. was the biggest pain in the ass to me for the longest time. You know how when you look at a D-Pad, there’s an “Up” button? I naturally assumed that was ‘jump.’ I remember waking up early on a Saturday and forgoing cartoons to play Mario, and almost immediately regretting that decision. I beat the hell out of that button just trying to get away from that guy. After a few play throughs of the first 3 seconds of the game, I either griped about how the controller must be broken, or played Duck Hunt, where, even in that game, I was being mocked by that damn dog.
Those formative years in gaming might explain my pent-up frustration.
Seriously, look at that goomba. He’s got this angry face that just says he’s pissed at you and will do whatever it takes to kill you, provided you’re standing immediately to one side of him and don’t jump. That game actually forced me to eventually read the manual because apparently “Up” wasn’t good enough to get over him.
Have any bitter childhood gaming memories? Feel free to share.
Who’s the rudest guy in classic games? Some might argue Donkey Kong, stealing chicks and throwing barrels at our faithful hero. Some might say Q*Bert, with his dirty little nubbin’ of a mouth. And still others might say Bowser, the representation of video game villainy. Well, those guys are all wrong. Seriously. Without a doubt, the rudest guy in classic games? Pac-Man.
Pac-Man’s an asshole. There, I said it.
Look, I get that we’re supposed to see ghosts as the bad guys, and since we’re controlling the pizza pie, we’re supposed to assume he’s the hero, but think about it for a second. You’re sitting around, with 4 of your buddies, in your nice little square place, when you hear this weird Wakka Wakka sound. So you go out and have a peek at what the hell that could be. When you look, there’s some douche running around trashing your neighborhood, eating all your stuff, and making a hell of a lot of noise. Wouldn’t you be a little upset? Then, to top it off, the guy goes and eats you. What a dick! Now you’re sitting there (or rolling, since you’re just a pair of eyes) waiting for a body to form so you can head out and get that bastard.
And for the majority of us who are gamers, the entire series just hammers home the point that we all knew but didn’t want to face. Pac-Man’s a douche – fact. He hooks up with a fine young thang who’s also kind of a douche – fact. The two of them spawn another little douche – fact. So what’s the lesson? Fortune favors the toolbags of the world. Be a jerk and you get a wife and child and have a prosperous life, eating all the fruit you can handle. All a ghost is trying to do is get by in this maze of a world and the big mouthed glutton has to ruin things.
Pac-Man, get bent.
Have a suggestion for the douchiest guy (or girl, or object) in games? Reply to this post. Maybe your choice will be next week’s “Douchiest Guy in Games”.
The Wii’s virtual console is a godsend in a lot of ways, introducing today’s gamers to a lot of great classics, take this one, Toejam and Earl. I remember this being the first game I bought for my Genesis back when I was 9 years old (Sonic doesn’t count, since he came in the box) and being totally blown away. From the awesome music (seriously, awesome), to the crazy characters, to split screen multiplayer, to the free roaming…this game could do no wrong for me. Maybe in the future, either Charlie or I will do a review of it, but just a heads up, I can’t say anything bad about this one.
Here’s the intro, for those who are inexperienced in the ways of Funk:
Woke up this morning, brushed my teeth, ate a little breakfast, turned on the TV, and what did I see? You think I’m going to say Gilligan’s Island, but no, it was the remake of the Honeymooners, starring Cedric the Entertainer and Mike Epps. I hadn’t watched it before, so I decided to give it a shot. Throughout the entire movie, I yearned for the days when a fat smart guy and a dumb skinny guy were actually entertaining. Comedy usually comes in fat and skinny - Laurel and Hardy, Abbott and Costello, Fred and Barney, and Gilligan and the Skipper. Thinking about that last pair reminded me that they were the toast of the town back in their days, even past their day, what with the release of The Adventures of Gilligan’s Island for the NES as recently as 1990. Figured this was a good opportunity to share with you guys what the game was like, since because there were no sequels, I’m assuming few people played it.
We at Homestyle live by our motto of “serving tasty slices” of classic and indie games, but the difficulty in that living lies in the blur between a classic and a modern game. It seems to be the trend to reboot old franchises, luring in the younger crowd while keeping a stranglehold on people who look at everything with the Mortal Kombat logo emblazened on it through rose-tinted glasses. Bionic Commando, Street Fighter, Spy Hunter…all classic games, all with updated graphics, gameplay, and mentality. Are they fun? Two of those haven’t been released yet, but the other wasn’t as good as the original, but then again, it might be these rose-tinted glasses I’m wearing.
