Here’s another mashup, courtesy of my long wait at the Charlotte, North Carolina airport. I find that when you’re stuck doing nothing for long periods of time, you’re at your most creative, but I could be way off based on the following concoction we’ve mixed together:
Lucasarts really needs to consider turning Ghost into a point-and-click adventure. Use Sam Wheat on Whoopi. Pick Up Penny. Give Cigarettes to Crazy Train Guy. This thing practically puts itself together.
It’s Monday Mashup time again. On Mashup Monday, we bring together the old and the new and create something spectacular.
This week, we bring together two classic, over-the-top basketball games: Double Dribble and NBA Jam.
Look, Eliot voted for Pac-Man as the biggest douche in games, but I’m going squarely with Princess Peach, formerly Princess Toadstool, but who suddenly decides she wants a first name – what the hell’s up with that? Seriously, she keeps getting caught, then Mario has to come along and save her. She is constantly putting Mario in danger; he’s falling off cliffs into pits, or pits with lava, or pits of lava with snakes and dogs, or pits of lava with snakes and dogs and when the dogs bark, they shoot bees; they could be there - you’ve never seen what it’s like down there.
It’s Monday Mashup time again. On Mashup Monday, we bring together the old and the new and create something spectacular.
This week, we bring together the best of open-world games: Grand Theft Auto 4 and Toejam & Earl
Who’s the rudest guy in classic games? Some might argue Donkey Kong, stealing chicks and throwing barrels at our faithful hero. Some might say Q*Bert, with his dirty little nubbin’ of a mouth. And still others might say Bowser, the representation of video game villainy. Well, those guys are all wrong. Seriously. Without a doubt, the rudest guy in classic games? Pac-Man.
Pac-Man’s an asshole. There, I said it.
Look, I get that we’re supposed to see ghosts as the bad guys, and since we’re controlling the pizza pie, we’re supposed to assume he’s the hero, but think about it for a second. You’re sitting around, with 4 of your buddies, in your nice little square place, when you hear this weird Wakka Wakka sound. So you go out and have a peek at what the hell that could be. When you look, there’s some douche running around trashing your neighborhood, eating all your stuff, and making a hell of a lot of noise. Wouldn’t you be a little upset? Then, to top it off, the guy goes and eats you. What a dick! Now you’re sitting there (or rolling, since you’re just a pair of eyes) waiting for a body to form so you can head out and get that bastard.
And for the majority of us who are gamers, the entire series just hammers home the point that we all knew but didn’t want to face. Pac-Man’s a douche – fact. He hooks up with a fine young thang who’s also kind of a douche – fact. The two of them spawn another little douche – fact. So what’s the lesson? Fortune favors the toolbags of the world. Be a jerk and you get a wife and child and have a prosperous life, eating all the fruit you can handle. All a ghost is trying to do is get by in this maze of a world and the big mouthed glutton has to ruin things.
Pac-Man, get bent.
Have a suggestion for the douchiest guy (or girl, or object) in games? Reply to this post. Maybe your choice will be next week’s “Douchiest Guy in Games”.
Starting today (and ending until the end of the Earth or we run out of ideas, at which point we’ll continue when we have a new idea), we’re implementing Mashup Mondays. On Mashup Monday, we bring together the old and the new and create something spectacular.
This week, multiplayer mayhem: Street Fighter II and Halo 3
Movie tie in games have the distinct pleasure of being, almost universally, garbage. We all know about the ET debacle back on the Atari, and my first recollection of realizing movie games are horrible was Total Recall on the NES. For every Chronicles of Riddick, there are about 20 Enter the Matrix’s. But maybe it’s not the fault of the game designers. Maybe it’s the source material. I think if the source is good enough, the game should be able to follow.
Which brings us to our newest feature - Classic Reenactments.
Having just seen the movie Doubt, a gripping tale of conviction and devotion within the Catholic church and one sister’s fight to protect a child from the grip of a perverse priest, the story seemed ripe for gaming bliss. Here’s what I imagine a game version of Doubt would look like, as only Capcom could deliver:
