Douchiest Thing (?) in Games

Not to brag, but I think I’m a pretty decent Mario Kart player, but that love of the game didn’t really kick off until Mario Kart 64. Something about the original just didn’t click for me, but the 3rd dimension granted by the harnessing of 64 BITS OF POWER really made the game work. Along with the pros of having cool new characters like Wario playable, who is a douche in his own right, but a likable one, came the bad, vile douchiness of this thing:

Anyone who’s played any Mario Kart post-SNES knows how much of a piece of crap this thing is. Basically, practice all you want, but once someone behind you gets a hold of this sucker, it’s over for you. And don’t tailgate on the person in first, because, inevitably, that guy in 8th is gonna get a hold of the blue shell and wipe you off the track with the leader. Really, this thing just basically tells you, as a player, that there’s no such thing as working hard and achieving, because a spikey thing with wings is gonna knock you on your ass.

Imagine, if you will, that you’re in a swim meet, and you’re pulling into the lead, getting there, almost gonna win, and then this happens:

Michael Phelps goes Super Saiyan on you and just obliterates you. He takes whatever is in first and replaces it with himself - don’t even try to win. Ever. So the take home message here is, Mario Kart penalizes you for winning, but Mario Kart isn’t the douche; a player throws the weapon of destruction at you, but that player isn’t the douche; no…the Blue Shell is all the douche.

Blue Shell - get bent.

Technorati Tags: Blue shell, Mario Kart, nintendo, Phelps

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