Douchiest Gal in Games - Princess ‘Peach’ Toadstool

 
Look, Eliot voted for Pac-Man as the biggest douche in games, but I’m going squarely with Princess Peach, formerly Princess Toadstool, but who suddenly decides she wants a first name – what the hell’s up with that?  Seriously, she keeps getting caught, then Mario has to come along and save her.  She is constantly putting Mario in danger; he’s falling off cliffs into pits, or pits with lava, or pits of lava with snakes and dogs, or pits of lava with snakes and dogs and when the dogs bark, they shoot bees; they could be there - you’ve never seen what it’s like down there.

And those bricks yea the ones he breaks with his head? Stupidity aside, the guy probably has a concussion or two. Have you read about the long-term damage that can be done when one gets multiple concussions? What else explains his willingness to continually go after the chick who keeps getting caught? That’s the reason I’m not voting for the Princess as the douchebag supreme. I mean, hey, the guy doesn’t know what he’s doing.  He probably has a massive concussion and, well, there’s his sex drive thinking of all the favors to be had for saving the hot and powerful princess.  Also, she’s the freaking princess! Why aren’t there legions of Mushroom Kingdom servants out there trying to save her?! No, it’s always a plumber and, occasionally, his lanky brother.

The princess is dumb and her staff is dumber for letting her get caught all the time.  Look at Bowser – he isn’t all that smart.  I mean, seriously, who hides the axe that is the key to one’s demise right behind themselves and then not even turn around when someone gets behind them? Bowser, that’s who. He’s just a pawn in the princess’s sick, sick game of hurting Mario.  She is ultimately the biggest douchebag in the history of history.

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